Pam Dashiell: a leader, an inspiration, a friend
It is with a heavy heart that I am writing this blog post about my boss, friend and mentor Pam Dashiell. Pam passed away on the first of the month leaving not only the Lower 9th Ward community, but the New Orleans and national community in shock. Many people have written about Pam’s passing, from Lieutenant Governor Mitch Landrieu, former Mayor Marc Morial, to friends and neighbors and people from as far away as Kazakhstan.
David (center) with Pam and Mack McClendon, of the Lower 9th Ward Village.
I will always cherish my time with Pam. She hired me at the Lower 9th Ward Center for Sustainable Engagement and Development without knowing me, welcomed me with hugs, trusted me with important tasks, encouraged me to go above and beyond, and most of all, she was my friend.
Pam had the greatest smile and laugh. Her laugh was heartier than Santa Claus.
My favorite story of Pam is one that I believe is really indicative of the kind of person that she was: In the early 90’s Pam was attending Mardi Gras with her daughter, and even though she was on crutches at the time, she was not going to miss the Zulu parade.
While she was watching the parade, there was an altercation between a man and a woman. The man was very intoxicated and in a fit of rage bit off the tip of the woman’s finger! He began to flee the scene of the crime and ran straight towards Pam. In a spur of the moment decision, Pam took her crutch, smacked the man over the head as he ran by, and then proceed to hit him a couple of more times before sitting on him until the police arrived. This is the kind of woman that Pam was: caring, yet tough as nails.
Pam also worked through pain. Her death was an important reminder to me that while she did amazing things for other people, she didn’t always take the best care of herself. She smoked a pack to two packs a day, she had arthritis, and she ate unhealthy food. In the end, Pam put others too far above herself. It’s good to work hard, but we must also do the hard work of looking after ourselves.
Pam’s first job was being a Shabbos Goy for her upstairs neighbors in her hometown of Boston. She fondly related to me her interactions with this family and her deep, early, appreciation for Jewish culture and religion.
Pam was an incessant learner. She was a voracious reader, and her depth of knowledge was astounding to me. Some of my fondest memories of Pam are when she and I would sit around the office debating about various events in the news: the ACORN prostitution videos, Michael Jackson’s death and its meaning for the Black community, New Orleans’ architectural aesthetics, hazard mitigation, and fried chicken. Just when I thought I understood something, Pam was always there to say, “I don’t see it that way at all,” or “I knew you were going to say that,” or “You are a 60’s throwback, nobody is that touchy feely anymore.” She never let me get too big for my britches, and she was always able to put things in the right perspective.
Many people at Pam’s memorial talked about Pam’s way of bringing people in. They had been set up, they said. Pam would approach you at meetings and say, “You know, I wonder about…” and before you knew it, you were on a committee and you were probably the president of it. She filled others with her passion and desire to help in a way that was infectious. This trait of hers reminds me of a quote that says, “The best leaders are the ones who, when the work is done, the people say they did it themselves.” She was a Dugma Ishit (a leader by example) to the highest degree.
David talks with Pam as they walk through the streets of the Lower 9th Ward, the neighborhood where Pam lived and where both dedicated their time and energy in rebuilding.
My thoughts here have been random, and I am just writing what comes to mind. I tried to craft some elegant tribute to Pam, but I couldn’t sum up what she meant to me in a nice and neat package. All I am left with are these anecdotes and my thoughts. This part of me is sad. This part of me is angry that Pam won’t be here anymore and that my world will be a little duller. However, when I think of what my life might have been if I had never met Pam …. Actually, I can’t imagine that at all.
Thank you, Pam, for welcoming me like I was a member of your family from my first day on the job. Thank you, Pam, for showing me what a life dedicated to the pursuit of justice looks like. Thank you, Pam, for teaching me. Thank you, Pam, for inspiring me. Thank you, Pam, from the bottom of my heart.
Visit the Help Holy Cross blog to read more about Pam Dashiell from those who knew and loved her.
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Ilanit said:
David,
I am very sorry to hear about Pam’s passing. We have all lost an incredible advocate for justice. I met her only briefly but was incredibly impressed with her. She seemed to have intense warmth and determination. You post was very moving. I appreciated being reminded of the important lesson of taking care of oneself. We often forget how to balance both our communities needs with our own.
Ilanit
Rachel Glicksman said:
David,
This is a really beautiful tribute. Thanks so much for sharing these thoughts.
-Rachel
rachel l said:
Thanks for sharing these memories of Pam. I only knew her through your work with her. Hearing about her life at the memorial service was incredibly moving. She has touched so many people!
Alisa Dashiell said:
Hi David
At a time of great sadness for me i enjoyed reading your blog about my mother. I laughed and cried a bit. Thanks i needed it. Yes i agree with your writing about the not so healthy diet. I have to tell you that my mother smoked on and off for years. I used to hide her packs of Cigs or throw them away all the time. You know i got into some trouble for that but you knew my mother so you know she would just buy some more. She has always been a selfless person and i’m glad you shared your moments.